1. YOUR CLEANING SKILLS AREN’T THE GREATEST.
We still love you, but cleaning the toilet does entail more than a squirt of toilet bowl sanitizer and a flush
2. WE’RE GOING TO TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THE BACHELORETTE IS TV GOLD.
Bear with us; the Fantasy Suite episode will be here before you know it.
3. GIRLS ARE MESSY TOO.
Even though we get sassy when the couch is buried in your dirty socks, we know who left those dishes in the sink…
4. THERE MIGHT NOT BE ANYTHING HOTTER THAN YOU DOING OUR LAUNDRY.
Who needs candles and a bubble bath when you’ve got a hot man folding your underwear? Let’s do this
5. WE NEED BREATHING ROOM.
The fact that we can shower together whenever we want doesn’t mean that we have to do it every day.
6. ASKING US WHY WE HAVE SO MANY SHOES IS POINTLESS.
We like shoes; we buy shoes—end of story.
7. IF YOU’RE BRINGING AN XBOX INTO OUR PLACE, YOU BETTER SHARE.
Um, hi! We like Halo as much as your bros do. Also, the stakes are higher when the loser has to do something sexy. Bow chicka wow wow.
8. IT’S NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FEED YOU.
Tell your parents
9. IT HURTS US TO CHANGE OUR DÉCOR.
We painstakingly selected our bedding, paint color, and curtains after hours of Pinterest recon. So when you tell us that you hate neutral colors, we want to throw Ikea meatballs at your face.
10. CHANGING OUR CLOTHES IS NOT AN INVITATION TO HAVE SEX.
Hey, we appreciate that you find us attractive enough to drop what you’re doing and approach us while we struggle to strap on a bra. But just chill. We have sh*t to do.
11. WE’RE GOING TO EAT YOUR FOOD.
Maybe we don’t buy Easy Mac for ourselves, but yours looks extra tempting for some reason. Sorry
12. YOUR BODY HAIR ANNOYS THE HECK OUT OF US.
It’s not your fault you shed like Sasquatch. But seeing those hairs all over our shower every morning makes us less sympathetic
13. THAT BEING SAID, THE HAIR ON OUR HEAD IS ABOUT TO BE ALL UP IN YOU.
Yeah, that giant strand of hair you just pulled from your crack is ours. Guilty.
14. SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED IS HARD.
But you make it so much harder with your restless leg syndrome-level twitchiness. Maybe we should get that checked out?
15. WE MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY CALL OUR PLACE “MY PLACE.”
Don’t take it personally! Old habits die hard.
16. YOU’RE GOING TO SEE SOME THINGS YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T.
Living together means roommates in flu season and in health. Periods and pooping happen. Consider yourself warned.
17. YOU’RE OUR FAVORITE ROOMMATE
Despite the fact that our place is covered in hair and your socks, coming home to you at the end of the day feels pretty awesome. High five, hot stuff!